Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
