i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
In America we eat man semen.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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