Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
