Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
