He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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