Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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