It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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