My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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