I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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