so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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