I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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