Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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