You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it because I queefed?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
