Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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