R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
