I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
