I'm going to jail i love you
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
