never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
