I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
