stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
