Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
