so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Less talking, more tequila
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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