we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
