why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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