I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
