Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
