Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
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