We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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