we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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