Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am available for nakedness
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
