Walk of Shame. In a state park.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
