before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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