she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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