I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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