Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
