This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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