I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
