If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
