He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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