haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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