He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You are the jesus of drinking
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
