Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
