sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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