What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
