I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
FUCK WHALES
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize