I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
