The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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