did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This house was built for laser tag.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
