i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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