I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
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the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
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You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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