I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
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Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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