so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
