I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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