Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
