it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
