Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
