Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
