Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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