what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I will be naked everywhere
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize