the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
