When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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