All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
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jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
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I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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