McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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