He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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