How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize